Blogging In Plain Site

How To Make Me Shave

"If you don't shave every day, you're a bum."

This is not me, this is my ex boss Jim Ryan's dad: a Brooklyn Irishman from another era. But this quote runs through my head each day when I decide NOT to shave.

I hate shaving. I hate shaving because I'm expected to for some reason. I'd just assume not. There was an episode of Entourage where Vince said "I don't want a movie role where I can't wear a t-shirt and jeans," (basically his uniform). That line goes through my head every morning when I get dressed. I really just want to throw on some comfortable, cool, over priced designer jeans and t-shirts and go to work and not be hassled.

So basically, you've seen where I've arrived at: 5:00 shadow, over priced t-shirt, True Religion jeans and hemp sneakers.

This hardly cuts the mustard for my job in my company but maybe that's why I love it so.

But Jen, my lovely wife, has a way of cutting through all that. And it all started when I knew that I SHOULD shave after 4-5 days of growth but I just didn't WANT to. So I shaved my neckline to "clean it up." Jen noticed right away.

"Are you growing a beard now?"

(Scoff) "Hell no, I'm not growing a beard. If I were to grow a beard I'd look like a woman undercover cop trying to look like Serpico. Hell no. I just cleaned it up."

She didn't say anything but I knew what she was thinking: ("Just like George Michael.") Now, I'll admit, in the late 80's he came out with that look and most people (me included) thought it was kinda bad-ass; mostly because women were swooning and throwing their panties on stage. A new, tidier, more stylish twist on Don Johnson's shadow prop from a couple three years back. Of course now, I look back and say that was gay as all get out. Same with Rob Halford. Totally gay and to him, at the time, the look was totally appropriate for who he was and he and George probably chuckled that teenage boys (and girls) didn't get the joke. Oh, they will in time.

So anyway, back to shaving: As I was getting ready today Jen passed by me heading out the door with the keys in her hand.

"Have a nice day. Oh, and looking good, Kenny Loggins. See ya in the Danger Zone." Playin' with the Boys. There it is. Gay as all get out.

I am shaving tonight.

Mondays

Ah Mondays. 7:00 AM. We are time checked by the Recycle trucks making their rounds and the bombastic, Cathedral Bell cacophony of glass bottles (beer, wine, tequila, vodka) that marks our house. We're so proud.