Blogging In Plain Site

I love air travel

I never recline my seat as I appreciate how little space other passengers have to exist in without the back of my seat hitting them in the chin.

Today, the flight attendant announced that as we taxi to the gate, please remain seated so our service men returning from Iraq can be more quickly reunited with their families. A warm, loud, long applause erupted. When the plane stopped and the lights came on, every single person in the plane stood up and filled the aisles. Seriously, I am up with people.

I advocate that you cannot fly without a professional flight status - a license if you will. This will keep professional travelers happier, weeding out the old, weak, grotesquely obese and stupid travelers. They can all fly on Southwest Air.

Election Check In...

Electoral map has McCain surrounded by a growing tide of pink and baby blue...Sarah Palin still looks hot in a black suit.

If McRage somehow wins this election, I think you're going to see a massive cultural divide in this country as the economy will completely dive off the cliff in despair.

This is your brain....this is your brain after two days of marathon meetings

Spidey-Fat

Here it is.

Liam wears his red spider man suit every other day. With Halloween fast approaching, we went to a costume store to check out some Halloween decorum. He spies the Adult red spider man outfit on the rack. Then he insists that I purchase and wear said costume so we can "match" on Halloween.

Realizing I really had no choice I bought the costume, which was my size. I go home to try it on and it rips in 5 places. I couldn't zip it up in back. I had all the muscle bulges all right, but they were in the wrong places.

I have become Spidey fat.

Liam wanted me to go get a size bigger so the next day I go back to the store and ask if they have the next size up. "I'm sorry, sir, this is an adult one size fits all. I'll see if they have a 'plus' size."

A plus size. Jesus, do they make "queen sized" super hero leotards? I'm too fucking fat to wear a one size fits all spider man costume for adults. Even if I was able to repair it and somehow squeeze into it, my body just wouldn't work in that suit. I am...ah...inseam challenged, you could say. Its hard for normal pants to fit me let alone this skin tight web covered pair of tights.

As I tried it on again, Jen said I would have to wear some Spidey shorts over the top of the outfit otherwise I would be "Boogie Nights Spider Man." She was right, me wearing the costume was wrong. Just wrong. I looked like a super hero Ron Jeremy auditioning for some bizarre Czech snuff film.

So, i got a Racer X costume for me and the boy. This fits and i can rest assured that I won't scare small children.

New Pics of Elle

ok, I 've been lame. I got a new baby and new job at the same time. I'm getting ready to redouble my blogging...here's some now old pics of Elle at 4 weeks. More pics coming.

VPILF

John McCain has done it - he's selected the up and comer Sarah Palin for his running mate and in so doing, deftly secured Alaska's 3 electoral votes to push him over the top this fall.

I think Sarah Palin is attractive for a woman of 44. Strong, cut cheek bones, fresh scrubbed vitality and energy and those glasses that have that Ashley Banfield kind of look that just does it for me. I may not vote for her, but in my book, she's a total (and I want to go on record as coining the term..) "VPILF."

Riding a screaming horse into a burning stable...

Jen was in a gas station with Elle yesterday. She notices a commotion up the street and sees a Subaru careening down highway 900 ON FIRE...big flames and smoke billowing out of the hood, lots of cars honking and this woman driving the thing is freaking out because, you know her car is on fire.

So where does she drive it?

Yep, she pulls frantically into the gas station.

To the horror of everyone in the gas station.

People were waving her off, scurrying out of the convenience store to the next lot over, running from the pumps...pandemonium.

Fortunately, she did not blow up Issaquah but the thought of some crazed woman thinking its a GOOD IDEA to pull a burning car into a gas station and all the construction workers in the convenience store dropping their coffee and Slim Jims and running frantically behind the car wash does make me chuckle.

A Glimpse That Liam Just Might Grow Up To Be Interesting...

(During a bath)

Liam: Papa, NOW can I draw on my Penis?

Baby Elle est Arrivee

 

Baby Elle Hunter Woodbery was bor on June 24th and 8:30 am. She is 8.35 lbs, 20 inches. She and Mom are doing great and I'm super happy that all are healthy and happy.

Amazingly, Elle has dark skin and dark hair.

Unlike her brother, i can point to her and say "she's mine" as Liam is a Celtic ice cream cone like his mother and has none of the olive, Teutonic genes of his father's strain of European immigrants.

She is doing great. It was an easier birth than the first and just as memorable. Happy to be the daddy of a beautiful baby girl.

She does look exactly like her brother, except for the dark hair. Nature never ceases to amaze me.

(This is Liam, D-Day 2004). He went from this...

...to this...

Check the resemblance to his baby sis, (below)

Here's her hair...a trip considering her mom's indomitable toe-headed Irish genes

More later as things are a bit chaotic at the moment.

Woodbery's (x4) out...

The Voices: A Strange Admission

Ok, weird but true: When a song is "done" playing in my head, it is followed by the coda of growling, sneering jeers at the end of ACDC's "Big Balls." I know it's strange but you could play almost any song in my head, from Wiggles to Anthrax and at after the final note comes this snarling chorus for no apparent reason.

An alternate theory is that those snarls are on-going and I only hear them when the music stops...